How does the word “Monotony” feel like? Back then I didn’t take this word seriously. As long as things are normal and stable what could be the issue is what I thought. All I recall ever being is to wish to have a job, a place to live and a good mate to share a life with. The usual criteria we all have as human beings security and social connection and it so happened that way and Yes!!, here I am leading my stable and secure life. However, certain truths surfaced in the process.
Just as how it takes time to uproot a bad habit that has been a part of your whole life, it takes as much effort to just basically process and understand the invisible lessons that life presents you with. You may not comprehend it at first because these aren’t hard hitting lessons, heck you may still not be able to put a finger on it because they are invisible but the moment you decide to slow down and think….. you are almost there. A lot of “why is this happening to me?” and self-questioning lead me to gather my thoughts more clearly.
I have heard that being self-reproaching, showing resentment and often feeling bouts of regret can be devastating to one’s self esteem. But my constant nagging question was “Why am I feeling this way when everything is going just fine?” “Why am I losing myself over nothing?”
I had some hardships to face during my childhood but nothing effaced me to a point where I felt useless like how I do now. All I could muster from my constant questioning was that Life is just lame. But was I right?
An Urban Monk called Jay Shetty once said “instead of asking ‘why is this happening to me?” ask yourself “what is this teaching me? Everything will change then. That’s when I saw things clearly and this is only based on my personal experience alone however, I am going to voice it in plural to resonate with those who are going through the same Monotony mayhem.
Since the time we were children to the time we graduate from college we are tested although we detest exams, it tests our knowledge and concentration and challenges us to do better, we go through physical education like sports which improves our determination and team spirit, Various art forms like dance and music bring out our talents and motivate us to perform better with every little word of encouragement and appreciation. We had a purpose back then which is to get good education, make friends, make our parents proud, be successful and then we land a job, get married, settle down and all too soon everything come to a sure halt but the years of basking in glory of our milestones as a child to a teen and a young adult carries on for a while, the charm doesn’t wear off so quickly. It keeps you going for a few good years but the magic spell rids itself slowly leaving you with stability and eventually emptiness. The recent years of leading a very stable normal life has locked me up in a prison of some sorts.
Again as Jay Shetty quotes” The most powerful prison is one that you don’t even know that you’re locked up”
Being in a comfort zone for far too long has corroded my nature to such an extent that any small challenges that I may have to face feels like a humongous task. I relate more with fear than with dealing things fiercely, my sensitiveness has reached its maximum point, more fear and anxiety to face a new day has become second nature now and the prospect of attending work is daunting to say the least as work is ridiculously boring as well. Consequently, I built a wall around myself away from the few good people I know, numbing myself down with snacks and TV hoping it would restore my sanity. Monotony is an invisible killer. It saps all the energy from you without your awareness like a parasite!
That’s when it hit me that I needed some adventure, some big change was needed but I didn’t know what to do. I had to do something quick to recover from this insane boredom fast spreading which is when I decided I was going to make a quick vacation. It was just a two day break that I wholeheartedly enjoyed but reality was staring at me back in the face again. I thought meeting my family and friends would boost me from within but the effects of the adventure pill was wearing down. Ecstasy died making way to monotony yet again.
Amidst this invisible pressure, I had to attend an important exam which I performed with utmost low confidence that I forgot what it felt like to be challenged as years had passed since I faced anything difficult!! such as attending competitive exams like how it used to be back in school and all I did was sulk about it relentlessly and eventually not clearing it.
I concluded that my life was just unfair and while I blamed and exhausted every external reason as the cause of my problems it dawned on me that all my issues arose due to my incapability of reacting to them wisely. I decided to dive into a self-help book and also watched more Jay videos to slap myself to get back on track and purify my ill mindset.
Jay’s words are thought provoking and has a powerful influence on anyone who fully absorbs it .His wisdom has indeed gone viral and his teachings are the need of the hour at a time when everything is fast paced including our thoughts that are filled with distracting noises and not voices of self-reflection.
There are a lot of take home message from his videos that I would love to list out on a different day as I am still in the process of self-reflecting and applying it into my life at this very moment. On the bright side all the good energy from his vlogs is allowing me to think positively, move ahead with focus, face my exam with less fear and more determination and I can certainly say that am up and ready for the challenge. In the meantime a few points from myself for all especially for my fellow monotony riders:
- Please do not go with a flow. Spread your consciousness like an ocean full of energy and vibrancy.
- If life is normal/good you take up the responsibility to thrill yourself with activities you would love to do and challenge yourself to find the time for it.
- Transform the way you see other challenges. They can be intimidating but they really beckon us to grow and sharpen our skills
- Focus on the inner world more than the outer world.
- Throw away the filter of anger, fear and pain and see everything with love and hope. Your sight is bound to improve.
Although I am still healing from months of accumulated stress and pressure I can feel the light entering back into me 🙂 as having listened to Jay Shetty has surely brought a certain ray of hope hence a ”Jay of Hope”. He is truly my master.
I would love to conclude the post with yet again one of the master’s lines which went
“Everything will happen for you all of a sudden and you will be thankful you didn’t give up. Blessings are coming. Believe that”